Random thoughts on the Feast of the Assumption

This morning my family went to Mass at our parish for the non-obligatory feast day (in this country, at least, because of the Saturday). Hence this post, and the sharing of some random liturgical thoughts.

First of all, I've recently become an Eight O'Clock convert. What I mean by that is I've begun getting up early to bring my children to the Mass at our parish at 8am rather than the 12:05 Mass at Franciscan University which we have frequently for the last, oh, six years or so. When my son was very small and always woke me up early we went to this 8am parish Mass. But then the days were seeming extremely long to me, and I needed the midday break to go out at noon. I developed a strong affection for that Mass community as well. But these days I've just found we need more of a chunk of time together at home, and we need to get up earlier (myself included). So after summer scheduling gave us the incentive to try out the early Mass, I could see that we needed to make this a "permanent" part of our routine. (As permanent as things get with family life.)

And I have found that I am once again developing a really strong affection for my parish. I think this has also grown out of my experience with my choir. The choir has not met now since June, but I have found that when I see people from the choir at church, or other places, I experience a kind of affection for them that really surprises this mostly non-affectionate person. Last Sunday when I cantored, I had the words poised on my lips to ask Joe (the organist and choir director) "So, WHEN are we starting up again?" the moment he finished his postlude, but alas he beat me to it and told me before I could ask. I don't even have any complaint in my heart going to daily Mass and singing with the daily Mass organist who struggles just a bit. I just feel like everything in my parish is bathed in this lovely light of belonging. It makes me sad for all the years I spent nitpicking things to death, both as a Catholic and before.

So, those random liturgical thoughts. It struck me today: if people want to spontaneously hold hands without rubric-heed, wouldn't it make more sense to do so during the creed than during the Our Father? In the creed we are speaking as one people, and it isn't really a prayer, it's more like a declaration. It is the symbol of our unity. Ok, so prayer is done in unity as well (yes, all of Christian life), but why that prayer? Well, that's not really my point.... my point is why not the creed? Of course, those who are going to pay rubric-heed probably won't do it at all. But, you know, just for the sake of argument...

Another thing that struck me today: There's a name for the part in the Mass where the priest holds up the consecrated host and then we pray "I am not worthy to receive you...", and I can't think of the liturgical name right now. But at that point today our priest said "Behold the Son of Mary, the Son of God...." And it struck me -- I could understand how some misinformed person could understand him to have just said "Mary is God." But of course Mary is not God. The truth is amazing though. Jesus, who is completely divine, is also completely human, and by grace and the exercise of freedom of one human being, this (humanly) impossible union came to be. Mary, a mere human elevated by God's grace by a unique gift, brought forth the Son of God into the world. I, a mere human elevated by God's grace in the common gift of baptism, am called to bring for the Son of God into the world through my union with Christ in His Church. There is this amazing, mind-blowing thing that happens in my heart, through my life. I meet Christ, here, now, in the flesh and blood people of the Church, a powerful transformation takes place, and something new comes to life that I cannot make. I could meditate on that every hour for the rest of my life and I think it would still not cease to amaze me. I think for some time I was like the person who had heard someone say "Mary is God." I'm frequently reminded of what Dr. Mark Miravalle always said: "If you get Mary wrong, you get the Church wrong. If you get Mary right, you get the Church right." So, so true.

This leads well into another stray thought: I really love bowing at the line in the creed "By the power of the Holy Spirit he was born of the Virgin Mary and became man." I always like kneeling on Christmas and the Annunciation at that point, too. I wish I could just lay prostrate, but that would be a rather awkward liturgical gesture! That one line is the basic content of my life of conversion, and it tends to make me teary-eyed.

I think a sense of belonging is something I have longed for my whole life, without always being able to name it. It is a little scary sometimes. I remember once years ago talking with a Risen Savior friend (my pre-Catholic fellowship) who had just gotten married. The conversation was generally about how he would give anything the Lord asked him to, and one comment he made stuck with me. He said he hoped the Lord wouldn't ask him to give up his wife, sort of ala Abraham and Isaac. That stuck with me because I could identify with that desire to please God in all things and yet the insecurity of wondering if the delightful things in my life were really "mine to keep" or if I would experience God snatching them away. I am sure this fear and mistrust is rooted in negative life experiences and not in a knowledge of God's goodness. Yes, people do die, friends move away, relationships sour and crumble. But it is a tremendously painful state when these potentials make basic bonding and belonging difficult to ever achieve in the first place. And so holding the gift of belonging, knowing that I do not make it, knowing it is given to me from God, is I guess an exercise of poverty, a real freedom, a real call to courage, a call to give rather than to hold on to.

Like Mary belonging to Jesus. Rewarded at the end of her life by seeing Him again, face to face. Wow. Those faces must be far more valuable than I can comprehend.