Why I Am an Unschooler

Leonie invited the members of Unschooling Catholics to blog a bit on the question of why we are unschoolers for a wee little UC blog carnival.

So, I thought I would apply myself to the question.

I'm considering why I unschool today, right now. Three concepts come to mind: ease, relationship, utility.

By ease, what I really mean to say is that unschooling is the opposite of stressful. We are free to follow rhythms that come naturally to us and allow us to spend time together as a family. My son is free to move as his soul impels him. My children do not have to face hours of social pressures each day. We can be ourselves, and in fact we must, as there is no other paradigm for us to accommodate ourselves to. And yet, we have to get along, amidst our differing personal needs.

I appreciate those ease factors for myself, let it be known! But I also know that the work I have needed most to undertake in the last handful of unschooling years has been about relationship. I have had to really think through my parenting and challenge my thought-processes. When I am pressed, I must say that a solid relationship between myself and my children is far more valuable to me than any academic skill they might be able to master at this age (and I doubt I'll change my mind on that 10 years from now!). If I were to think that I could hand off my soon-to-be-7 year old to a teacher, who would then be responsible for forming him, I would be robbing him and myself of the treasure of deeply living our lives together. The way I can best do the job before me is to spend all our time together, with no intermediary for either party to dodge behind, whether school or homeschooling curriculum.

Utility: unschooling works. Children really are learning machines. This year so far it has been time for reading to click with my son. After about two weeks of demonstrating basic skills to him and putting a hand at his back to steady his course (while he read the dialogue at Dragon Fable), he is now reading impressively. And his passion for learning stays alive. He actually finds multiplication fun. He learns; I come by, sometimes to stoke the fire, sometimes to just observe, sometimes to get "shushed" away from his important work. My daughter on the other hand begs me to play school with her, even while, in so many words, she asks "Mama, why does this workbook ask me to do such silly things?" The learning we do isn't all academic by any means. How many 2-nearly-3- and 6-year-olds do you know during the presidential primary season (way back when Republicans still thought it was interesting) could sing Huckabee campaign songs? (Papa's tutelage there...)

Ok, so lest I just go to bragging about how intelligent my children are, let me add that I would not change my course if my son still had no interest in reading and my daughter was still speaking in two word phrases. The point is, children naturally take in the things they are exposed to according to their internal timetable, their need, and their drive.

So I guess there is one other point: I highly value being able to set one's focus on those things in life which are needful, those things which are needful because our need for them becomes evident to us, occurs to us organically. I want to have a grip on the order of my day because it helps me, and not because I feel guilty when comparing myself to my friend whose garbage is alphabetized. I want my children to embrace the things they do with wonder for as long as it can stay with them, and not come to believe that life is about learning how to appease those in authority, and needing somehow to toss their individuality on the rocks in the process. Ultimately I want my children to focus their lives on the One Thing needful.

For us, today, unschooling is the way.