Need

My need is not my difficulty. My need, in its most pure form, will always lead me, pull me, draw me, to God, to fulfillment, to the One who fills my need.

My difficulty is in how I go about pursuing fulfillment to what I need. I have options. For example, I can think, worry, ponder. I can weigh all the factors I can think of. I can wallow in indecision and do nothing. I can bolt forth in pride, in the heat of my own passion, in the brilliance of my own ideas and plans. I can meekly follow what most other people do. I can comfortably follow how my friends think. I can automatically do whatever I feel like.

Or, I can in the first place consider that I am a creature, that I have been made a daughter of the Most High God in baptism and I have been made a member of His family. I can consider to Whom I belong. I can ask for help. I can be simple. I can take my fears, my thoughts, my passions, my plans, my worries, my loves, my self to the cross and acknowledge that what I need ultimately springs from that place. I can open my heart in trust to receive back from Him the fulfillment of all I bring, of all I need.

My biggest problem, I suppose, is not accepting that I need in the first place.

Maybe the way around that is to ask a simple question each day: What do I want? What am I looking for?

Instead of sighing and figuring happiness and love are impossible or out of reach, I can acknowledge that what I want, deep in my heart, only serves to point me to what I need.

Then, with God and all His heavenly court always cheering for me, I think I'll be just fine. How could I not be?