Choose for God. He has a specific way that He wants you to take, and it's worth it to choose for His way.
Oh, of course nobody can pull off doing God's thing on their own. But I'm talking about something radically different from just "doing your best," because, let's face it, how's that been working for you so far? It is impossible to go God's way, to do God's will, that way. I am, in fact, talking about doing something that is humanly impossible. It is actually possible, but not apart from humility, apart from dependence on the One who is Higher, apart from the grace and power of the Holy Spirit.
But here's the good news: God gives that stuff. He empowers, He graces. That is His way. He gives when we ask, and He is always hugely generous to everyone who desires Him. If you want the best He has for your life, tell God that you do. Tell Him you want everything He wants you to have.
Ok, ok, I know that feels awkward. Because even if you want to do God's will, you have this sin, this fault, this junk that besets you, that messes you up, that makes you feel like a gross disappointment to yourself and to God.
Valid point. Sin is real. But if you can believe sin is real, then you have got to accept that God's love and power are more real. After all, sin is just our junk. Love and power, that's God's. Which do you think is more likely to be more powerful: you, or God?
Got sin that you can't make go away? I deal with that, too. There's a great verse in the Bible that I've learned to rely on. Sins you are powerless against require you to "First John One Nine" it. That says:
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to purify us from all unrighteousness.This is really great news. He doesn't only forgive, He also takes away the stuff that we can't budge. Our part is to come to Him with humility and say "I want this to be different, I want to be pure, but I can't make it happen." But not with some whiny, irritating, self-hating, prideful, woe-is-me bellyaching. Just like a little child who asks for a box or a bottle to be opened that he can't get. Removing sin from ourselves and making ourselves holy is beyond our capabilities. But it isn't beyond God's. In fact, that's exactly what He's waiting for us to come and ask Him for. (Quite literally, He was dying for us to come to Him that way.)
But we don't ask for sin to be taken away just to meet some stupid standard of goodness we have. The whole point of that awkward sin junk being removed is that God is madly in love with us, and as long as we are obsessing over how we aren't good enough, we can't see that He is busting His... whatever... to woo us unto Himself, longing to fill us beyond our wildest desires with good. When the sin is confessed, the love can flow in, and we can see that it is all about living in that relationship. That's what He's after, and that's what we need. We don't know who we are apart from God. Even with God we're confused enough! We have to keep coming back to that middle C -- relationship, relationship, relationship. If you think you are living Christianity and you have something other than a relationship with God in Christ Jesus through His Body made present in time and space by the Holy Spirit (called the Church), you are building over the wrong foundation. No wonder it is so damn unsatisfying.
If you want to make God sing (Zephaniah 3:17), then come to Him in simple humility and give Him a signed blank check on the account of your life. Say, "Here, Lord. Here it is. Here I am. All of me. Yours. Please show me what your love means for my life."
He is bursting at the seams to show you.