Inspired by "Joyfully Rejoycing"

This website, Joyfully Rejoycing, was mentioned recently on Unschooling Catholics. I remember coming across this a few years back when I was very new to the idea of unschooling. I read it, and was partly inspired and partly scared out of my pants.

I'm not sure now why I was so frightened by reading it. Probably because I intuited that if I pursued the path of unschooling, I would need to change, and I feared it. I think I thought the true answer, or antidote, to my rather "hands off" upbringing was the iron fist. I thought I had to maintain an "iron fist" heart, lest I simply fall backwards into emotionally neglecting my children.

But, what a ridiculous choice. There is another way to parent, and it is called respect. It is not easy to move from a paradigm of control to a paradigm of respect, because the fear is there that you as a parent will be made a fool of, that your children will end up controlling you and you will be stuck.

The truth is, children are needy. Children are people, and people are needy, therefore children are needy. Generally speaking, unless things have already happened, children naturally look to the big people in their lives to show them what the reality around them means. Like the rest of us, they desperately need to follow someone (Someone).

When I serve my children, I am teaching them to serve. When I respect my children, I am teaching them to respect. When I yell at my children, I am teaching them to yell (ask me how I know this).

I don't need an "iron fist" heart. I need a heart that knows and respects my own needs, and a heart that is following the One who leads me. Then I will be able to lead my little ones with their needs, safely.