So, This Finally Made Some Sense...

I'm going to share about something now that I've hardly thought about for ages, and I don't know that I have ever discussed with anyone in my life. But I thought about it this morning. Because it is no longer the 1970s and 80s and I can pull up any bit of information with my interwebs box, I was able to reclassify a bit of my life's experience in a way that was both a bit surprising, and very not surprising at all.  

Maybe you have experienced the same thing. 

I'm literally reorganizing this information in my brain as I write, so please track with me as I move these boxes around a bit.

From the time I was a child of at least ten (I really have no memory of a "first time" of this) I rather frequently experienced a kind of electric sensation that would seem to radiate from my core, through my body. It registered as pleasant and restful -- a sort of momentary rejuvenation. Sometimes it would accompany someone saying something to me, or perhaps a nice song, or a thought. But sometimes it would happen more or less unaccompanied. 

Because I am me, my mind set to to try to figure out what was happening. I was a child; I had no interwebs, and (this is significant) never in a million years would I have told anyone about this type of experience happening in my body. Never, ever. I concluded at one point that this happened because it was how God was speaking to me. This is definitely a moment where adult spiritual director me steps in and says No, that is not how God communicates. But it felt good, and, like I said, it was often connected to a response to something happening outside me. So I thought it was what God did when He wanted to clear His throat and make me pay attention. 

I also had some issues with deception in my younger days, precisely because of my mind working like this. I remember saying to God, "So, if we get five pieces of mail today, I'll take it as a sign that you want xyz." Lo and behold, we did get five pieces of mail. How I approached this was a bit like divination, and I heartily don't recommend it. We need good formation. But I'm getting a little ahead of my story.

At some later date, I thought better of considering my electric shudders to be God's voice, and I set that idea aside. I just sort of vacated the need to understand what was happening, and just let it happen when it did without giving any thought to it at all. But it also didn't happen quite as often in later years.

This morning at Mass it happened, though.

And it dawned on me that I could hop on Google and ask it several probing questions and maybe I could learn something about what this actually is. Like, maybe this is simply a normal human phenomenon. 

And it is, more or less.

According to Dr. Peter Levine, it is the discharge of left over "fight or flight" energy in the body that never got used. It happens when you enter a moment of safety after being on high arousal, and the nervous system essentially sends this spontaneous rush of pleasant energy through the arms or neck or wherever. It is the body discharging stress or trauma. When stuck for a good long time in hyperarousal, the nervous system sometimes down regulates, and this little energy burst happens. And when it doesn't, well, you end up in trauma therapy in your 50s, and then you deal with it. 😬

So, I understand now why I felt this feeling was a divine intervention. In a way it is, as a natural stress reset. But even as a child I could not fathom that God created the human body with a means to simply feel good. I figured it had to be a secret, cryptic message, and one that I apparently had to work really hard to comprehend. But I also have to realize that even as a child I was under a considerable amount of chronic stress. And this was clearly compounded by a decision that was rock solid long before age ten, that I would not go to any adult in my life and talk to them about something happening inside me, or in my thoughts. I feel like I had that decided probably by age five. I realize that my childhood conversion to embrace faith in God came in part because I desperately needed to know that there was something bigger than myself that I could turn to. It was confusing for awhile, though, and so I did things like reading the tea leaves of my shivers. 

One of the things I've been working on in my therapy is to learn to accompany by own frightened little self as she still turns up. And to make sure she knows the real Jesus (ooh, must share my picture). And now I realize she also needs to understand some real science, too. It's ok little one. You can rest now. God is good, and you can shudder and shake and rest in His arms.

I bought this painting in March of this year, 
and not a moment too soon. It has been a well-timed
focal point of meditation for me. 

Embodied

"New year, new me" came with a jolt this year. It was as if the Lord woke me at midnight and said: Ok dear, buckle up. We're going for a ride right now, and you are going to need a few things for this trip -- here. 

And we were off, while I was still blinking and not even at the point where I could say I wasn't prepared for this. 

So I have a list of about 11 things that I've been incorporating into my weeks (has it been weeks already?), and one of these is from a website called EmbodiedCatholicWoman.com, called the Heart Safety Toolkit. God bless the Facebook ad that knew I was looking at resolving trauma on a somatic level. Sometimes intrusive marketing is helpful. 

At several turns in my adult life, people have told me that I need to get in touch with my feelings. My response was generally a raised eyebrow and an "ok..." because honestly I knew I had feelings. I felt them all the time, often to an overwhelming degree. I couldn't deny that I'm of an intellectual bent. Most of me shrugged off this entreaty, while the rest of me squirmed a bit, wondering if I'm just not really woman enough. 

Honestly, I had no idea how to do get into this "touch" they talked about. No one ever explained it to me. And though I am deeply intuitive, sometimes I need things spelled out super clearly before I get it, because I just don't have the ability to leap into whatever assumption the speaker is making.

Claudine at Embodied Catholic Woman spells it out, scientifically. Essentially, our bodies can go into different "gears" in response to trauma or chronic stress. These gears hang between our psychology and our physical bodies, and the effects go both ways. The key to resolving what trauma triggers is to become observers of thoughts, feelings, sensations that happen inside our bodies, and do certain physical things that can reset us over time physically and psychologically, to be better able to navigate the challenges that life brings. When we don't reset but stay in a gear where we are either unable to deal, or are hyper-dealing, we are left less and less capable of that kind of navigation, and we instead develop all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and we become knotty, and maybe even sick, people. 

So it hasn't been so much that I have needed to become more emotional as it is I have needed to become more embodied. By that, I mean to observe: this is what I feel happening in my body right now and eventually move to this is what I can do in response. In the past it was more like I feel x; I am x and it was as if there was no escape. So I would just avoid feeling x, by force, if necessary. Like that link I shared above about the "threat" of the women's Bible study at church. The only solution I could come up with was to guilt myself into not feeling what I felt. Or, one better, to accept, with some sadness, the way I am. What these somatic exercises have taught me (and the Lord, throwing this at me as we left on this trip) is that there's a stopping point between what I feel and who I am. And I can go there and actually accept what I feel into the fuller picture of who God made me. What a concept. I'm 57 years old, but it's better late than never to figure this out. 

This need became screamingly evident as I sat writing an email to a friend one evening, quite in a panic. I put my head in my hands and said out loud, "I'm becoming my father." What I heard was someone in a high state of anxiety, doing the social equivalent of desperately reaching for numbing alcohol to erase the pain, instead of taking courage to face it. (I'm currently reading The Shining as an exploration of the psyche of the dry drunk; more on that after I finish it, maybe.) This state of mind was, frankly, modeled to me by the adults in my life throughout my childhood, and had come to be somewhat emotionally normal for me, though I had not experienced it myself in decades. That was the moment I realized I needed what I was about to find in Claudine a few days later. 

Ok, so none of this was what I came here to even write about, but there we have it. Between Claudine and Manuela Mitevova and her somatic practices I am learning how to be whole. Now we give it time, work, and continued prayer.

My Body Will Rest in Safety

I've pretty much always had a social circle of people older than I am. One such friend mentioned his uncomfortable awareness that everyone's chatter now gravitates towards aches and pains and doctor visits. It makes sense. Pain makes us vulnerable and we need to know we aren't alone with our fears of losing ourselves. 

When I briefly cared for my Mom while she was dying in hospice, I made a mental note to change my relationship with my body. I had always softly scoffed at the idea of going to the gym and doing exercises. My farmwoman epigenetics sang a distant song, to the tune that the goal was the work hard rather than sectioning off body movement away from normal daily activities. Eventually I had to admit that I was not chopping wood, plowing fields or drawing water from wells on any regular basis, and I was, in fact, a cushy modern. Through trial and error (and a lot of back pain) I figured out which kind of exercises I needed, and I've gradually worked towards actually doing them. 

Lately I've been doing a program called Hips Like Honey which focuses on strength and flexibility. It doesn't do much for cardio stamina, but even though it is rather gentle, it has really done its job. I love the feeling of waking up in the morning and doing that huge reach across to the other side of the bed to turn off my alarm, and lay down again, and not only not throw my back out, but to feel solid. 

So today I had my monthly chiropractic visit. I am still actively learning to stop tensing my body all the time, and the doc was showing me an exercise to help me out with that. The moment gave me something to ponder. Essentially he said that the tension in my sacrum comes from my back muscles trying to do the work that my core muscles are designed to handle. It's like two siblings going around together, and the loud, overbearing one is always doing all the talking, leaving the quiet, reserved one unskilled in initiating and carrying out a conversation. The overbearing one is tired and overused, and the quiet one needs focused, gentle attention. As he showed me the exercise, I realized, I don't do gentle very well. Farmwoman is out there, hoisting bales of hay overhead and throwing them. I need to find my interior delicate crystal goblet, or.... something like that. I guess when I find it I'll know what it is.

Something significant happened last month, and it is still settling in. Speaking of tension, lately I feel my mouth relaxing in just an incredibly unusual way. In my experience, I feel tension only after letting go of it, and my jaw and my teeth are apparently not clenched anymore. The other amazing thing is that as I read Scripture, or pray it, or hear it read, I feel like it is all about joy, peace, and God's incredible goodness. And safety. And rest. 

If there's a way to tie together these rambly thoughts, maybe it is this realization. Somewhere in my soul, a pre-verbal baby Marie has, for more than five decades, beheld a fear: that joy, and peace, and safety, and rest, and love, and important people, all disappear. And that little girl is powerless to stop it. Using all my might, and tensing myself silly isn't going to stop it. Like aging, like dying, it's a point of incredible vulnerability. But into that moment of vulnerability, someone has come. And He is Love. And Love is eternal. And I realized I will never lose Him. And more than that, every day I live in Him, I will never lose, either. Part of how I do that is I share my woes with others, and they share theirs with me, and the Lord is there (Mal. 3:16). We live our lives together, and even though we grow weak and die, this is where we find joy.

And in the meantime, the exercises that remind me that I'm weak -- I'll do those. Maybe I'll even become friends with gentle and vulnerable and make a soft nook for Farmwoman to rest in. 

Anxiety

I struggle with anxiety.

Ironically, I am able to say this because most of the time I win this struggle, these days. 

In fact, anxiety used to be so much a part of my life that I only noticed it for the first time about twelve years ago, when I began to have fleeting moments of freedom from it. Before that time, I had an anxiety baseline which was pretty high all the time. I recall a medical check-up about twenty years ago, when my doctor was trying to test the reflexes in my arm. He asked me to hold out my arm to the side. I held it in a tensed 90 degree angle. When he told me, "just relax," I was mystified, because I was as relaxed as I knew how to be.

Sometime happened to me when I started singing in my parish choir. There was a lot going on there. For one, I had singing-induced dopamine flowing in my brain. For another, I had a spiritual awakening going on where I found courage to step out of being self-contained and into being self-giving. Also, for the first time as a Catholic, I had a tremendous sense of belonging that was both social and spiritual. I was moving forward. It was anxiety-provoking, really, but of the sort that stretched me and which left me feeling regularly "leveled up" in terms of how much anxiety I could handle. I was growing.

It was also about that time that a Naturopathic doctor introduced me to ashwagandha. That was a really good thing, because right about then all of that stretching left me revving on so much cortisol that I never could mellow out. 

In those days I took a supplement called Cortisol Manager, whose main ingredient was ashwagandha. But I kept it on hand only in case of "really bad days," and on normal days I just coped with, you know, an acceptable level of anxiety. The type that seemed like normal life. Still.

Fast forward several years, and it came onto my radar screen again as I began exercising and trying to find my metabolism again, and learned how cortisol makes you store belly fat. Then I came across Goli gummies, and oh my, they are just so yummy. So I began taking both a capsule and gummies -- which actually brought me up to the recommended daily dose. Wow! I felt great! 

Recently I made a silly decision, and honestly I've done this same kind of thing so many times. I just decided to not take the full dose. I always use the logic that since I'm feeling great, I must not really need it. 

Lo and behold, anxiety started slapping me in the face again. And it didn't quite occur to me right away what was happening, because it isn't like my hands turn blue or I start sneezing, or some objectively noticeable thing like that. Anxiety is noticed from within. Even after I noticed it, my first thought wasn't, gee, take the pill. It was more like, "Oh, hi, anxiety; you've come to visit. Well, let me move my life out of the way so you can come in and sit down...."

It is one thing to not beat myself up, or spiritually shame myself, or self-medicate in other negative ways. Not doing all that is a big step forward for me. But I still have to work on realizing what's happening, and giving my body the care it needs to usher out the unwelcomed guest. 

And you know what? Recently I realized that for me, doing this is part of keeping the commandment "Honor your father and your mother." My father had absolutely debilitating anxiety. Both of my parents suffered from depression. This is probably one reason why I had a hard time recognizing these struggles in myself; this way of being seemed so "normal." Both of my parents also became alcoholics. From childhood, I've really struggled with what honoring my parents was supposed to mean, supposed to look like. Recently it just kind of clicked in my mind, that I don't honor my parents by erasing their struggles. I honor them by facing the things they struggled with with grace; especially where I face the same things in me. There is no shame in having a struggle. My honor of them, in part, involves accepting that I struggle with some things because I share their genes, and treating their memory in myself gently and honorably.

Then I can simply be the me God created me to be, and be at peace. It's hard interior work, that's for sure. It is worth it, though.

A Few Thoughts on Fear

It seems the first stage of corona virus infection is the spread of fear. If you spend any time on Facebook or other social media, or even any humans at all, you've already probably witnessed people taking up positions. I've seen people emote, learn, educate, change, grow, plan... and mostly try really hard to keep laughing.

This is new territory for us. That alone can be enough to make people afraid.

This morning as I prayed Office of Readings, I read from Exodus about Moses receiving the covenant from God on Mout Sinai. There was some fear built into this process for the People of God. The threat God told Moses to pass on to the people was that no one should approach the mountain, and if they did, they were to be stoned to death or shot with arrows. Their signal was to be the ram's horn. When they heard that ram's horn, and then only, they could approach.

Think of it: we hear that God purposefully struck fear into the hearts of his people.

St. Irenaeus explains why this was the case: "He made them afraid as they listened, to warn them not to hold their Creator in contempt."

con·tempt

/kənˈtem(p)t/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.

As Irenaeus sees it, God was training his people to give him the consideration he deserves. Why? because God is an insecure egomaniac? Of course not. We need to give God due consideration because he is our origin, our Creator. Without giving him his proper due, his proper worship, we are serious out of tune with ourselves and we fall short of that for which we were created. If we don't worship, we are dysfunctional. It's for our good.

Fear, therefore, like all things we can feel, should be our servant. In this case of the corona virus, it is not a bad thing for fear to move us to prepare, if not for ourselves, then to be able to serve the vulnerable around us who don't have means, who won't necessarily be able to care for themselves, and who will suffer. Use the precautions that scientists advise to flatten the curve. Become more aware of the needs people have, if we tend to be on the dull side of thinking about others.

Fear, however, should not be our master, nor our enemy that we desperately try to beat away from us. Allow fear to do its necessary work, then bring it to Jesus, to Perfect Love, who casts it out. Pushing down fear, refusing to feel it, will create the panic that harms. Don't refuse God's servant. Don't forget it is ONLY God's servant. God is the master. Let him be that. Trust him, and entrust all of your concerns to him.

Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to stand. Ephesians 6:13

How to Kill Fleas

I rarely post anything on this blog that is purely practical, because I figure that's what everyone else's blog is for. But when I discover something that works and solves a problem, how can I not share.

We have three cats. These three cats have fleas. When these three cats have fleas, the humans in the house share in the flea action. And we dislike it greatly.

Nothing from the pet store or the vet seems to work very well at killing or preventing the fleas on the cats. We've tried the expensive brands, flea collars and a product made with essential oils, and the fleas have persisted.

Bathing the cats with dish soap followed by meticulous combing actually did kill off quiet a few fleas, but it increased the level of paranoia significantly in the cats.

I read the completely uncomforting statistic somewhere that if you find one flea on your cat, you probably have thirty living elsewhere in your house. Great. So I reasoned that the most pressing need was get eliminate the fleas from those other places in the house, where the cats frequented before they blessedly became so fond of our porches and backyard that they hardly ever come in any more.

Everyone's going to sell you some product to kill fleas, but what worked very well for us is something that won't cost you much of anything.

Take the reading lamp you have, the one with the bendy neck. Plug it in somewhere near where you find yourself getting bitten a lot. Aim it down to the floor, and place below it a shallow pan (11x17x1 baking sheet, for example, or a pie pan, or a 9" cake pan, etc.) filled with water and just a drop of dish soap. Leave the light on, especially at night, with no other lights on around it.

In a day or two, you will have a tidy collection of dead heat-seeking fleas. Yes, it is a gross sight to behold, but I consider that every dead flea is one that is not jumping onto my ankle for a snack. And of course you can dump and refill and count the dead as often as you like, to track how the population is dwindling.

Simple, cheap, and effective.

You are welcome.

The only downside is that today I am getting ready to make my son's birthday cake, and I realize that the pan I need is the flea trap in his room. I'm hoping maybe he won't notice.


P.S. If you've already been bitten, the best thing I've found to stop the scratching is Purification oil from Young Living.

Been Realizing so Much....

Every season of my life seems to have its weirdness, but the difference with the current season is that it's the kind of thing that I can and do talk about freely with lots of people. Health issues are like that. Emotional, spiritual and relational issues are not like that. So in a way, this is a great relief, because I can ask tons of folks to pray for me and tell them why, and they do.

Perhaps it is precisely because of all the prayers being offered for me that I find myself surrounded by new ways, new realizations, new grace. I need to try to catalog these. (Look up at the blog title -- Naru Hodo; I write, therefore I understand. That's the deal now.)

(In no particular order.) I can articulate to myself and to others, "I need to talk about this. Listen to me on this point for a bit." See, even as I'm writing that it's like seeing a new piece of furniture in my living room and wondering where it came from.

I realize that part of my loving relationship with others is to correct or direct them when they don't know something, and I have a better idea of it. I can actually do that as an expression of love, and not of impatience, grumpiness, arrogance, blame or any of the other negatives that I always felt like directing others required or elicited. I realize that I am actually grossly at fault when it is my place to direct or correct someone, and I don't do it.

I realize that God asks of me holy indifference. My life was created by Him, and exists enveloped in His love for me to serve, working with Him in His plan. Because it is His plan, I do not understand everything as we go along. I have very strong preferences for how I would like some things to be. But God asks me to trust Him to the degree that I will leave everything in His hand and allow the choice of directive to be His. And that I refrain from bitterness when that involves letting go of control of the things that strike at my dearest preferences. And strike He does. (He has no problem correcting and directing me, and He is all love. He calls me to be the same. See above.)

I realize that every piece of the service entailed in my daily duty is a precious way for me to participate in working for the salvation of souls. When I pick up the laundry basket and carry it up the stairs because it is part of what is before me to do, and I choose that over sitting down and being introspective and brooding (and calling it 'contemplative'), that action of love is an offering that can be rendered prayer for love and grace to enter someone's life. The external works don't matter as much as the disposition and the relationship with God, so that love is lived.

I realize that when I open my mouth to speak about God, I am always telling stories. I don't mean parables, I mean giving testimony to what God has done in my life. I don't think about doing it or calculate it. It's just what comes out. Instinctively, it seems, this is what I have to tell people. And I guess this is why I write stuff here, because it gives me practice in forming my thoughts.

I realize that illness is about far more than illness. I'm not even sure I'm "sick," and I'm certainly undergoing no significant physical suffering. Because I've always been a healthy young punk with a side of misanthropic past, I've often thought that people who talked about their illnesses were just moaners, basically. Maybe this is me coming of age. Maybe this is me learning that suffering makes people vulnerable, which in turn means that the moment is ripe for them to reach out for God's help. Who, then will be the instrument ready, not to fill them with pep talks or worry with them or complain about doctors with them, but to demonstrate the care and love of Christ, and to look with them, calmly, into pain and fear and show them that Jesus gives peace? But not the obnoxious peace that is really just anesthesia. The peace that acknowledges the terror of being made weak, of requiring others to pick up our slack, of enduring uncertainty, of relinquishing control.

So, while the one doctor finally decides whether I need surgery, whether the lingering chance of cancer has any validity at all, and while I try to discern what to do about the fact that no one is addressing the weirdest question my body is posing, I realize I am really blessed with the chance to work out, somewhat openly, other issues that have woven their way into my life, starting back even more than a decade. A long, long time ago I hit upon an analogy for how my life felt: a spider web. The spider does one circle around, then casts a thread and goes to a new level. Same pattern, but always slightly bigger dimensions. And that "casting out" part... you know, I'm not really sure how they do it. How do they launch out into the next thing, when technically they are hanging out in space? It all boils down to building on what came before. I have been building on what came before like this, or aware of doing it, at least, for about 25 years. Most of it has been interior stuff that hasn't been appropriate to talk about on a public scale. There's something almost giddy for me in having something else going on, that people will ask me "Is anything new happening?" and I can tell them. I can't think of a single life lesson I've gone through that is like this -- even the medical issues of infertility are not the sort of thing one can do that with, aside from a support group.

Anyway, blah blah blah, I am grateful to God. I truly am. He only gives good things, even with the pain entailed. I know how deeply loved I am, and I know that eternity is what this life is all about.

Healthy Fasting for Blood Type O

For various reasons, including the good old-fashioned sacrifice of it all, I have struggled with fasting since I first started trying to do it as a non-denom charismatic. I didn't have a good understanding of the spirituality of it (which I don't believe is all that complicated). However, the biggest obstacle for me to overcome was my natural penchant when it comes to food. Some people will eat when stressed; I tend to starve myself when stressed. So, I couldn't get passed the notion that fasting was all about beating myself up and treating myself terribly because God somehow delighted in that.

Ok, that's weird.

And it isn't at all God's intention.

I'm sure those with far more experience than myself could wax eloquent on the spirituality of fasting, but to me it suffices that Jesus says that some spiritual pathways are only cleared up by prayer and fasting.

Enough said.

In more recent times, I've learned that, yes, fasting produces powerful results. I've also learned that I have to find a way to fast that is healthy. I have a sort of hyper-sensitive chemical make up, it seems, and while I have no problems while I am fasting, and often feel really good physically, when I come off of a fast I can experience a few days of brain-chemistry mishmash. Which is a euphemism for saying I go a bit loopy in my head. I hate it when that happens. It's not a good scene.

I checked this out with my Naturopathic doctor, who explained that starving the adrenal glands of protein makes them overwork to maintain blood sugar levels, and makes for an unpleasant crash. He suggested an approach that is more healthy than, say, fasting just on veggies or just on bread. This approach integrates the work of Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo and the Blood Type diet, which is research showing that different foods are digested differently by different folks with differing blood type categories. (Which is why, for example, people say that eating less red meat helps people avoid heart disease. Blood type A people tend to have a higher rate of heart disease, and also tend to do better not eating red meat. The opposite is true, however, of blood type O.)

This is actually the first week of a 28-day regimen that my doctor sent me. He also recommended a protein shake called Vital Clear and 64 ounces of water every day.

While this might not seem like fasting in a traditional sense, eliminating whole groups of foods can be challenging and require just as much discipline as not eating at all.

I should note that this is designed just for Type O people. I have the others as well if you are interested. Or contact Ohio Naturopathic.

Blood Type O Dietary Guidelines (The "Yes, Eat" list)
• Vegetables: fresh vegetables are preferred but frozen are acceptable. Avoid canned or creamed
vegetables. Focus on: artichoke, broccoli, beet, Brussels sprouts, collard greens, kale, romaine,
spinach, Swiss chard
• Lean Animal Protein: beef/buffalo/lamb/venison/poultry, cod/halibut/wild salmon/sardines/
tilapia
• Vegetarian Protein: black, garbanzo bean (chickpea)
• Fresh Fruit: apples, berries, cherries, lemon, pineapple
• Gluten-Free Grains: brown rice, quinoa, buckwheat, millet, amaranth, chickpea, arrowroot, and
tapioca
• Non-dairy alternatives: almond, hemp, rice milk
• Nuts/seeds: almonds, pecans, pumpkin seeds, walnuts


Avoid Foods (The "No, Don't Eat" list)
• All avoids on Blood Type Diet
• Gluten: wheat, barley, rye, spelt, kamut, and triticale
• Dairy: milk, cheese, ice cream, yogurt, butter, whey, casein
• Eggs: yolks or whites, commonly allergenic
• Peanuts/Peanut Butter: commonly allergenic and high in mold
• Corn: high glycemic index and not well tolerated
• Soy: commonly allergenic
• Alcohol: beer, wine, hard alcohol
• Caffeine: coffee, soda, tea, energy drinks; can drink green tea throughout the day, will help with
caffeine withdrawal
• Refined Sugar: candy, cakes, jam/jelly, syrups, canned fruits, soda
• Processed Meats: pork, sausage, hot dogs, cold cuts
• Nightshade Vegetables: tomato, eggplant, bell pepper, potato

Sacred Chrism

Last night I sang with the City Choir for our diocesan Chrism Mass. At this annual celebration, all of the priests of the diocese come together with the Bishop to renew their vows, and the oils to be used in Sacraments for the year are blessed and consecrated.

Many a stray and profound thought went through my mind during the liturgy, but I couldn't help but think of this new way I've learned to care for my skin, and its connection with the Sacraments. Water washes us clean on the outside, true. But oil can literally suck the decay out of us and preserve and seal into us the vitality our skin needs.

Telephonophobia

I have a confession to make. I'm afraid of making phone calls. It isn't really like I live with this fear at my side 24/7; it's much more like I have arranged my life in such a way, rather without realizing it, to simply avoid phone calls or to convince myself quite effectively that I don't need to make them. And, oh, this phobia really only applies to people that I know. I don't have any problem calling businesses or government agencies and the like, as long as I know exactly what I need to ask or what piece of information I need to give. There are also a few friends I manage to call without too much trepidation, but normally I only call with some cut and dried business matter. And often these are motivated by something I need for my children. I rarely even call my husband at work with anything but information relay. My approach reminds me of the Jonah character in the Veggie Tales movie when he is psyching himself up to go to Ninevah: "Go in, give the message, get out. Go in, give the message, get out."


This last weekend not once but twice I found myself faced with a phone call I didn't want to avoid. Five hours after the first round I still could not calm down. Saturday afternoon when I made the next call my heart went right back up to racing full speed again. Here it is Monday almost at midnight and I'm still trying to land with my feet on the ground.

I could come up with many reasons why this is so for me. Telephones have played sort of a traumatic role in my life in more than one relationship. But these have always been with me on the receiving end. So, why is it not traumatic for me to answer phones? For some strange reason, answering phones has never really been a problem for me. Perhaps I am deeply aware of how someone who makes phone calls can sort of take on the role of a terrorist, and while I have learned to handle "taking it," the horrific thought of filling that terrorist role is just too much for me to bear.

But why, I wondered to myself, when God has brought so much healing into my life, am I left with this particular difficulty? Fr. Pietro at the Advent retreat yesterday talked about how we need to keep open the wound that we are. I don't believe this means we need to wound ourselves or forsake or reject God's healing. But we will always be in need of some healing, and our task is to not forsake or reject our need. So if I still have this particular struggle it is because the need it shows me still needs embracing.

Hopefully my steps are starting on that path. After this episode this weekend I realized that first I need to act with some tenderness for my own need. Often I just force myself to do things that are hard for me. "Buck up" becomes my motto, and nothing is going to deter me from facing my difficulty. There's some value in this, because often the only way out is through. But I looked at my situation this weekend and realized that if I just asked this friend for his email, it would save me a lot of grief and it would be no big deal. (One down, one to go.) The thought had even occurred to me quite some time ago, but somehow having tenderness of my own need also entails treating it seriously enough to make it known to someone else. I have been Queen of not taking my need seriously. I think the step towards doing so shows me that what I wrote about freedom back in June has really taken root in my life.

Another thing I've realized is that in one way it is no exaggeration to say that I would take natural, drug-free childbirth any day over psychological pain: anxiety, depression, agitation of various sorts. I have long thought this (well, I didn't use the childbirth example before I experienced it, of course), but I have an insight now about why I feel this way. Physical pain is hard, and can be frightening in the sense of not knowing when it will end and if it will keep getting stronger or not. But psychological pain is far more frightening to me because it changes my ability to feel connected to people. Physical pain brings me inside myself, but I'm still aware of the love and concern and connection with people around me. Psychological pain is like experiencing a giant eraser over my relationships, and it requires a firm act of my intellect to recall that I once knew I experienced them. Like a tiny baby playing peekaboo (so they tell me, my daughter disproved this at 3 months) the emotional memory, the feeling, of friendship vanishes from me. Even my children can just seem like noisy little machines next to me, but not tiny souls who are deeply connected to me.

So, my need. Concretely, I know I absolutely must care for my health in the best way I know how, because while I cannot eliminate stresses from my life completely, I can do much better if my body is getting everything it needs. Also, I need to cut myself a little bit of slack, have consciousness of what I struggle with, ask for help as needed instead of forcing myself unnecessarily, and instead of avoiding life's interactions because of that stupid telephone, realize what other options might work just as well. Probably the biggest need is for me to accept that I really, really, really do need my friends. To all have working email accounts!

Medical Child Abuse

The Epidemic Of 'Medical Child Abuse'
And What Can Be Done
Dana Ullman

Opening remarks…
The primary purpose of this article is to encourage a stronger commitment from doctors and parents to consider using safer medical care for infants and children FIRST before resorting to more dangerous treatments. One would hope and assume that doctors and parents would have a natural inclination to make the safety of these young human souls a significant and sincere priority, but sadly, the power and propaganda of Big Pharma has inappropriately turned this equation around and made it seem that doctors and parents are putting their children at risk if they don’t prescribe powerful drugs first. I personally disagree with this assumption and sincerely hope that people consider this health issue to be of primary importance today.
I certainly realize that the evidence that I present below on the epidemic proportions of “medical child abuse” is somewhat inflammatory, but due to the fact that this issue is presently being ignored by so many doctors and parents, a little “inflammation” may be a necessary symptom that will lead to great attention to this problem and perhaps to some concrete solutions to it.
Although many people consider American health care to be “the best in the world,” the World Health Organization has ranked the United States to be the 37th (!) in the world in the “performance of the overall health system” and 72nd (!!) in “overall level of health” (of the 191 member countries). American health care may be the most expensive, but there is no evidence to prove that increased expense leads to improved health status.

When one looks at the countries where health status and overall health scores the highest, they are countries in which there are a significant number of physicians and other health care practitioners who use herbal medicines, homeopathic remedies, acupuncture and nutritional treatments. Perhaps American doctors and patients would benefit from a significant change in health care practices that are not only considerably safer than modern medical treatments, but that also seem to create better health care status.

A newly published review of the six leading medical journals uncovered a truly shocking observation: “No information on severe adverse events and withdrawal of patients owing to an adverse event was given in 27.1% and 47.4% of articles, respectively.”[1] When one considers that this review only analyzed the “best” medical journals, we can and should seriously worry about the safety of many drugs that are used today, and we should express real indignation when doctors prescribe two or more together (unless they were formally tested together) or when doctors prescribe them for conditions for which they have not been tested (called “off-label”).
Ultimately, although physicians assume that they are practicing “scientific medicine,” most drugs today are not tested on infants or children, and most children and adults are prescribed more than one drug at a time (and drugs are very rarely tested for efficacy or safety when used in combination with other drugs). These common practices lead one to assume that modern medicine is not adequately scientific, and these practices may be part of the explanation for the poor health status of Americans.

The Very Real Problem…

We all know people who have children who have benefited from conventional medical care, but sadly, we all also know people whose children have been harmed by it. The most famous words of the father of medicine, Hippocrates, are “First, do no harm.” This dictum was directed at doctors, but it is as appropriate for parents. Sadly, however, our children are being put in front of harm’s way with our present, almost callous overuse of powerful drugs for our young ones.
The bottom line is that too many physicians and parents are giving drugs to children that have not been proven to be either safe or effective for them. It is important for parents to know and to remind doctors that it is widely acknowledged that drugs act differently on the bodies of infants and children than on adults. And yet, it is extremely common for doctors to prescribe powerful drugs to infants and children and even prescribe more than one drug at a time, despite the fact that drugs are very rarely evaluated scientifically in combination with other drugs.
The FDA recently withdrew from the marketplace many popular cold and cough drugs that were marketed for infants and children,[2] but the problem of doctors over-prescribing other more dangerous and unproven drugs for children and the inappropriate overuse of over-the-counter drugs in children by parents is a very significant health problem. One must wonder if the increase in psychiatric disorders, immune dysfunction, autism and various other chronic diseases result from the use of the drugs that have not yet been proven to be either safe or effective for our infants and children.

Most consumers do not know that many drugs commonly prescribed for children today are not tested on them.[3] A 2002 survey in the British Medical Journal (BMJ) found that almost one-half of children were prescribed a drug that was “unlicensed” or “off-label” prescriptions for children.[4] A 2007 study of over 350,000 children found that a shocking 78.7% of children in hospitals are prescribed drugs that the FDA has not approved for use in children.[5] If this isn’t shocking enough, it is seriously problematic to report that a survey in England found that 90% of infants were prescribed drugs that were not tested for safety or efficacy in infants.[6]
If the off-label use for drugs was not found to be dangerous, it would not be a problem. However, the use of off-label drug use is significantly associated with adverse drug reactions. In fact, there is almost a 350% increase in adverse drug reactions in children prescribed an off-label drug than children who were prescribed a drug that had been tested for safety and efficacy.[7] The use of drugs for infants and children that have not been proven to be safe constitutes a type of “medical child abuse.”

Despite some significant gaps in research and knowledge about the safety and efficacy of drugs for children, the number of drugs prescribed for children has jumped significantly in recent years. In the U.S., the number of prescription drugs for children with asthma increased 46.5% from 2002 to 2005. In this same time, the number of prescription drugs for children with ADD/ADHD increased 40.5%, and even the number of prescription drugs for lowering cholesterol in children increased by 15%.[8]

In 2007, the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) reported significant increases in childhood chronic diseases.[9] Since 1960, there has been a 280% (!) increase in the “limitation of activity due to a health condition of more than 3 months’ duration.” This article also noted a shadow side of increased vaccination usually ignored by physicians and the media: “decreased exposure to viral infections in early childhood…may provide less and less normal stimulation of the immune system with more susceptibility to allergies in later years.”

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dana-ullman/the-epidemic-of-medical-c_b_338645.html

What can be done and what is being done…

First and foremost, physicians have to STOP prescribing as many drugs as they are prescribing, and must significantly reduce the number of off-label prescribing of drugs for infants and children. I am not suggesting that they stop the use of all off-label prescribing, but that they work to significantly reduce these more risky prescriptions.

Because they sometimes feel pressure from patients who want drugs (or something) to help their infant or child, doctors need to warn parents that many drugs have not yet been adequately tested for safety and efficacy for children. Doctors need to become better educators so that parents can better decide which risks they wish to take either with conventional drugs or various safer alternatives.

Doctors also need to begin learning about safer treatment methods. Although some “alternative” methods may not yet be adequately tested for efficacy (usually because Big Pharma cannot make as much money making and selling these treatments), natural therapies certainly have a much better safety profile, and there is a body of experience historically and internationally to suggest that many (not all) natural treatments can aid in the healing of many pediatric ailments. In honor of the Hippocratic dictum, “first, do no harm,” doctors need to explore and even exhaust safer methods before resorting to the highly risky treatment modalities.

Because the FDA recently withdrew from the marketplace many popular cold and cough medicines, more parents and physicians should explore safer homeopathic and botanical alternatives. One of the books that I co-authored with Stephen Cummings, MD, Everybody’s Guide to Homeopathic Medicines, has been the most popular guidebook to using homeopathic medicine. Besides explaining how to choose a homeopathic medicine that fits the sick person’s unique syndrome of symptoms, this book is also widely appreciated because it provides detailed guidelines that define when it is medically safe to use a safer alternative treatment or when medical supervision is recommended.

Another useful, though more technical resource was just published by Oxford University Press (OUP), one of the most highly respected publishers of medical textbooks and medical journals. OUP has begun to publish a series of textbooks on “integrative medicine,” which is the emerging field of utilizing the best of the various natural treatment modalities and the best of conventional medicine. OUP just published an Integrative Pediatrics (edited by two pediatricians, Timothy Culbert, MD, and Karen Olness, MD).

Nowadays, virtually every leading conventional medical school in America has a course in “integrative medicine” (or alternative and complementary medicine).[10] Although these courses are generally just an overview and introduction to the various “alternative therapies,” they provide good seeds for the medical students to determine which treatments should be a part of the medical care they will later provide. One way to predict the future of medicine is to ask medical students what interests them.

In 2008, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) published a position paper acknowledging the widespread use of alternative and complementary therapies for children and encouraging doctors to discuss options with parents.[11] An AAP survey found that 54% of pediatricians in the US agreed that “pediatricians should consider the use of all potential therapies, not just those of mainstream medicine.”

Doctors, however, need to understand that alternative therapies are not just a different “treatment,” but also a different approach to understanding and treating whole person health care. Acupuncture, ayurveda, and homeopathic medicines provide time-tested and historically verified benefits that deserve the investigation of doctors and parents everywhere who want to use safer methods before resorting to more risky treatments. And there is a small but significant (and growing) body of research to confirm the efficacy of these systems of medicine, despite the strong tendency for skeptics to ignore this body of evidence.

Parents have to START asking their doctors if the drugs they are prescribing for their children have formally been found to be safe for them. If more than one drug is recommended, parents should ask for the evidence that these two drugs, taken together, are safe and effective. Parents will benefit from learning when some type of medical treatment is truly necessary because many common ailments do not require medical attention, therefore safer home treatment methods can and should be considered.

The bottom line is that there is increasing interest in alternative and complementary treatments for children. A survey in Canada published in Pediatrics (2007) found that more than half of the children who visited a university-affiliated hospital had received alternative and complementary medicines.[12] Homeopathic medicine was by far the most popular treatment, used by 39% of the families.

In 2002, the British Medical Journal (BMJ) reported that 75% of Germans have used complementary or natural medicine.[13] They also reported that 5,700 doctors received specialized training in natural medicine, with this number doubling to 10,800 by 2000. Homeopathic medicine is practiced by 4,500 medical doctors in Germany, almost twice as many as did so in 1994. The German government conducted this survey, discovering a 33% reduction in sick days if people used natural therapies, especially homeopathy or acupuncture.
Although homeopathic medicine is not well known in the U.S., homeopathy has maintained a unique international presence that has included appreciation and advocacy for many of the most respected cultural heroes of the past 200 years, including 11 U.S. Presidents and scores of world leaders (ranging from Gandhi to Tony Blair), six popes, numerous European royalty, literary greats, sports superstars, corporate leaders, as well as a wide range of first class physicians and scientists.[14]

In reference to homeopathy, it is common for skeptics of homeopathy to purposefully misinform others that “there is no research that proves that homeopathy works.” Such misinformation is typical of Big Pharma shills and closed-minded skeptics who revel in confusing the public.
In fact, one of the most serious public health problems in the developing world today is diarrhea, a condition that claims the lives of several million kids each year as a result of dehydration. Three double-blind and placebo-controlled trials have shown efficacy of treatment from homeopathic care.[15] The number one reason that children in the U.S. seek medical treatment is for ear infections, and the American Academy of Pediatrics has sought to discourage doctors from prescribing antibiotics due to their questionable efficacy and potential problems. There is some good evidence that homeopathic medicines are effective for this common ailment.[16] There have also been several trials showing efficacy of homeopathic treatment for children with ADD/ADHD.[17]

Ultimately, both doctors and parents need to educate themselves about safer methods of treatment for the short-term as well as long-term health of our blessed young ones.

(Dana Ullman, MPH, is America's leading spokesperson for homeopathy and is the founder of Homeopathic.com He is the author of 10 books, including his bestseller, Everybody's Guide To Homeopathic Medicines His most recent book is, The Homeopathic Revolution: Why Famous People and Cultural Heroes Choose. Dana lives, practices, and writes from Berkeley, California. )
REFERENCES:

________________________________

[1] Pitrou I, Boutron I, Ahmad N, Ravaud P. Reporting of Safety Results in Published Reports of Randomized Controlled Trials. Arch Intern Med. 2009;169(19):1756-1761. http://archinte.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/169/19/1756
[2] Aguilera L. Pediatric OTC Cough and Cold Product Safety. US Pharmacist 2009;34(7):39- 41. http://www.uspharmacist.com/content/c/14137/
[3] Australian Parliament’s Committee on Children and Young People—Inquiry into the Use of Prescription Drugs and Over-the-counter Medications in Children and Young People.Report 11/52. May 2002.
[4] Jong GW, Eland IA, Sturkenboom MCJM, van den Anker JN, and Stricker BHC. Unlicensed and off label prescription of drugs to children: population based cohort study. BMJ. 2002 June 1; 324(7349): 1313–1314.
[5] Shah SS, Hall M, Goodman DM, et al. Off-label Drug Use in Hospitalized Children. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2007;161( 3):282-290.
[6] Conroy S, McIntyre J, Choonara I. Unlicensed and off label drug use in neonates. Archives of Disease in Childhood - Fetal and Neonatal Edition 1999;80:F142-F145. doi:10.1136/fn.80.2.F142
[7] Horen B, Montastruc JL, and Lapeyre-mestre M. Adverse drug reactions and off-label drug use in paediatric outpatients. Br J Clin Pharmacol. 54(6); Dec 2002, 665–670. doi: 10.1046/j.1365-2125.2002.t01-3-01689.x.
[8] Cox ER, Halloran DR, Homan SM, Welliver S, and Mager DE. Trends in the Prevalence of Chronic Medication Use in Children: 2002–2005. Pediatrics. 122,5 November 2008, e1053-e1061. doi:10.1542/peds.2008-0214
[9] Perrin JM, Bloom SR, Gortmaker SL. The Increase of Childhood Chronic Conditions in the United States. JAMA. 2007;297:2755-2759.
[10] Consortium of Academic Health Centers for Integrative Medicine. http://www.imconsortium.org/members/home.html
[11] Kemper KJ, Vohra S, Walls R. The Use of Complementary and Alternative Medicine in Pediatrics. Pediatrics 2008;122;1374- 1386. DOI: 10.1542/peds.2008-2173. http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/reprint/122/6/1374.pdf
[12] Jean D, Cyr C. Use of complementary and alternative medicine in a general pediatric clinic. Pediatrics. July 2007; 120 (1):e138-e141.
[13] Tuffs, Annette, Three out of Four Germans Have Used Complementary or Natural Remedies, BMJ, November 2 2002;325:990.
[14] Ullman, Dana. The Homeopathic Revolution: Why Famous People and Cultural Heroes Choose Homeopathy. Berkeley: North Atlantic Books, 2007.
[15] Jacobs J, Jonas WB, Jimenez-Perez M, Crothers D. Homeopathy for childhood diarrhoea: combined results and meta-analysis from three randomized, controlled clinical trials. Pediatric Infectious Disease Journal 2003; 22: 229-234.
[16] Jacobs J, Springer DA, Crothers D. Homeopathic treatment of acute otitis media in children: a preliminary randomized placebo-controlled trial. Pediatric Infectious Disease Journal 2001; 20: 177­183.
[17] Frei, H, Everts R, von Ammon K, Kaufmann F, Walther D, Hsu-Schmitz SF, Collenberg M, Fuhrer K, Hassink R, Steinlin M, Thurneysen A. Homeopathic treatment of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a randomised, double blind, placebo controlled crossover trial. Eur J Pediatr., July 27,2005164:758- 767.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dana-ullman/the-epidemic-of-medical-c_b_338645.html

Lent's Way of Reaching Me

Some people give up blogging or computer-related activities in general for Lent. I had considered writing a blog post about how, since blogging tends to be such a wonderful spiritual process for me that I would be making a concerted effort to "blog for Jesus" this Lent, you know, being mindful and more diligent to really explore the things that make His presence clearer in my life, blah blah blah.

I never did get around to writing that post, but the thought of it sure came to bite me in the conscience today. It's funny how God knows all and knows me and has this way of keeping me honest, despite my best protestations.

Funny.

The other day my husband asked me what has been bothering me of late. Bothering me? Me? Whatever could he mean? After responding (by email of course; we don't have the luxury of uninterrupted conversation that often) that it wasn't much, maybe just a little tired, oh and maybe it has something to do with the new supplements I'm taking... I thought about it some more. Only, it wasn't really like a mental process whereby I came to a realization. It was much more an emotional process whereby I allowed something to emerge. I blurted it out, but assured him that I didn't even want to think about it let alone talk about it, for reasons that I know are obvious to him. It is sweet to have a spouse who understands.

In School of Community we read a section of the book on Hope about how life is a trial. This is the nature of life; it is a test. Hope is sure when and because the Great Presence in our lives is sure right now: Christ is with us, so we know Christ will remain with us, come what may. But the "come what may" is the nature of a trial. We don't know what will come, we can only know with Whom we will be, and the nature of that Whom. God is good, life has purpose, pain has purpose. But life is a trial.

I have a trial in my life and it is called infertility. It is difficult to describe the exact nature of this trial, because even for me it changes from season to season in my life. There was a time when my life was consumed by the desire to conceive a child, and this desire served me well and shaped my life, though not without long stretches of misstep and anguish. I have at times found myself completely unable to be in a room with pregnant women or small babies. And I have at times been very much at peace with it all, just sort of patiently bearing with the "maybe" and figuring in a few years (I'm 41) I can start giving away all of our baby accouterments.

Currently the hardest thing for me to face is what those trying to conceive call the "two week wait" when there is something unusual going on.

Welcome to my first week of Lent.

Last week I visited with my Naturopath and started on a new supplement, a chasteberry compound, and rededicated myself to faithfulness with the supplements I had been taking more and more haphazardly. The good news is I can feel a difference. When you deal with hormonal imbalances as long as I have you can feel the presence of progesterone in your body. The difficult thing, which I will explain for those who either aren't familiar or don't spend your life obsessing over these things, is that a rise in progesterone and concomitant feelings also happen when one has conceived. In general, I need progesterone supplementation both to conceive and to be healthy. I used to take HcG injections which essentially mimic the action of pregnancy in the body. Because of all this, I really can no longer trust my senses about things like "feeling pregnant." I can feel a hormonal shift, but I can't say what causes it. I used to say this with anguish; now I just say it as a fact. The last time I started brand new supplements with my ND I had wild and crazy pregnancy symptoms, but they were the estrogen-dominant type.

Let's add in to the mix that the last two positive pregnancy tests I had ended in miscarriage almost sooner than I could turn around.

I am helped by staying with the Great Presence right now, and His assurance that He holds life and death, my life and death, in His hand, despite seismic uncertainty. And I can't quite talk myself out of this being a seismic issue, as much as I'd like to put it more in the category of whether I make or miss the sale on asparagus. What comes tomorrow -- any energy I invest in imagination is really just energy I'd rather spend in what is right now.

But this is a trial. It is THE category of life that most draws me to cling to the cross. At Mass today I reflected on how Jesus handed over His body, placed the control over His sacred body, into the hands of sinners and was violently tortured. Like King David I can only say how much better to fall into the hands of God than the hands of violent men (2 Sam 24:14-15)! I entrust my body, which is given to me by God in the first place, to the One who sustains everything.

Food and Freedom

This thought-provoking article which expresses the view that obsession with "healthy eating" is no different than anorexia was posted recently in the "O diet" forum of which I am a member.

I responded with the comments below:

I am a parent and this article is very relevant to me. I have seen the effect of being restrictive with my [type O] 7yo son, who is what some would call strong willed. He will now go to a salad bar and eat everything -- and only that -- which is not on the O diet.

I believe the issue is not really health food vs. junk food, but the issue is respecting the individual freedoms of our children. We can advise, we can lead by example, we can not bring certain foods home, but lecturing about how some things are awful are better left to be learned by experience. So much better if kids learn to think for themselves about what their bodies thrive on and what makes them feel yucky.

My husband just will not stop bringing home gross candy & chemical-laden sweets that I would never buy. It is an issue. But I will admit it helped me lay off being the (pardon the expression) food Nazi in our house, a role I undertook because I lacked this ability to be gentle with and respectful of my own freedom when starting the O diet.

Loving That Rebounding

Two months ago I posted about my introduction to rebounding. Some time later, thanks to Angela's eagle eyes, I scored a very cheap rebounder from a local thrift shop. And some time after that, namely last week, I decided to give it more than the occasional bounce.

And I'm hooked!

I've been giving it at least a good 10 minute go for over a week now (yes, every single day -- this is amazing for me!). I have never really enjoyed exercise before this, although there have been times when I have been somewhat diligent (like during pregnancy). But I find myself actually looking forward to my rebounding minutes.

I probably don't need anything to boost my appetite (for food) any higher, but I have sensed my metabolism speeding up as I am even hungrier than usual. And, there have been rumors circulating that I actually have muscles in my stomach as my little post-operative (endometriosis) pouch has changed shape somewhat. But the weirdest thing I have experienced is that my sleep cycles have been very different. I have actually been tired at night and awake in the mornings. I am hoping that by blogging about this I will jinx it, because this is not the way my life is used to being structured! I have actually felt rather energetic during the day, but this getting tired at 9pm just will not do. For one thing, no one has given my children the memo. For another thing, how do I get in the swing of blogging when the sun is shining?!?

Well, I'll deal.

And now I'm hoping this will wear off.

But, if I could manage to eat chocolate at night and still fall asleep, I might just try to get used to early morning blogging. Time for a little caffeine experimentation!

Who Doesn't Love Mint?

Here's a chance for you help a Michigan family farm avoid mortgage foreclosure by buying a dram of essential peppermint or spearmint oil. They also sell candles and candy. In the spring, look for their soil rejuvenator! Check out www.getmint.com.

Thank God for 5-HTP

And what is 5-HTP, you may ask. 5-Hydroxytryptophan is an amino acid that naturally occurs in plants and in the human body, and works to regulate serotonin levels in the brain. Low serotonin levels generally bring on problems like depression, insomnia, and sometimes mood-induced overeating.

Depression so insidious, and yet it need not be feared. I've lived with depression for probably as long as I can remember, although it was only in the last few years that I've been aware of it and taken my propensity for it seriously. Like high blood pressure, it is a medical condition that can be treated. And as is the case with high blood pressure, while there are lifestyle changes one should make to stay healthy, depression is not something one can "snap out of" simply by willing it.

I'm no doctor, and I don't play one on this blog, but I have to testify that 5-HTP works for me. Christmastime can trigger depression for many, and it is for this reason I wanted to pass on this information about this non-prescription, inexpensive and safe supplement that can help you back into balance. Talk to your ND about it, or talk to ours if you don't have one of your own.

Advent is Coming! Advent is Coming!

Pardon me while I feel a bit dragged out...



I don't really know if it is the flu, exactly, but I'm taking my Influenza remedy #26 just to be on the safe side.

And then my daughter reminded me this morning that it is almost the beginning of Advent. I love Advent. It is my very favorite liturgical season. But it always sneaks up on me! Even doing Nablopomo this month was supposed to remind me to get ready to get ready. So, I want to try to start facing that way. Just as soon as I can face some direction that isn't the ceiling, at least mentally. I like to empty out our living space a bit to slowly add in Adventy and Christmasy things. My brain is still so stuck in May or June.

Rebounding

The latest exercise my son's developmental optometrist has recommended for our whole family is to use a rebounder.
This is "rebounding Edna," by the way.

I've tried our neighbors' rebounder, and it really is fun and comfortable. This link lists some of the health benefits supposedly derived from rebounding including stimulating the lymphatic system, improving muscle-to-fat ratio, better oxygen circulation, improved resting metabolic rate and several others.

Actually, Edna does not have it quite the way Dr. Sobek instructed us to use it. He said the key is that one's feet should not leave the surface, but rather the legs should pump one up and down on it.

I freely admit that I hate to exercise in non-functional ways. I mean, I don't mind stretching while I scrub the floor, or running up the stairs an extra 10 times to get something, or walking to enjoy being outside, but the thought of doing exercise just because it's exercise is very difficult for me to accept. But I could see myself rebounding just for the fun of it. I'm still hunting for one to buy that still allows me to keep both arms and both legs. Which really isn't all that hard, but I also don't enjoy shopping. What I do is far more like deer hunting: find it, bag it, bring it home. Or better yet, buy it on line and have it delivered!

Two Contacts and an Offer

Some time ago I signed up with Goodreads when Sharon mentioned it on her blog. It has proven a useful way for me to keep track of books I want to read to my son, and it keeps me aware of how I should not be randomly requesting books for myself from the library when I see how long it takes me to read them. It has a nifty social feature to it, so if you'd like to sign up, or if you already use it, and would like to "be my friend," go here and click "add as a friend."

I also got myself on Facebook of all things today. A friend of mine from college, one of the very few people from that era of my life who still makes an effort to stay in touch with me (from Europe, I might add!) held the pictures of her newborn son captive on Facebook, so of course I had to join. Not to mention there's this little Facebook boom among the UnschoolingCatholics group in the last day or two. What can I say; it was meant to be. If you know me well enough to know my surname without me telling you here, go ahead and look for me and add me as a friend. Heck, it's weird, but maybe I'll get used to it. (Facebook, I mean. I might get used to having you as a friend, too.)

And now, the offer. If you buy supplements and have never tried iherb.com before, I can save you $5. (It is a good company, by the way. Back in the days of our intense fertility pursuits I did lots of cost comparisons and found iherb to be one of the best values out there. They ship promptly, too, and without outrageous shipping charges.) Just visit www.iherb.com, make your first-time customer order, and plunk in this code: MOM624. Easy as that. You get $5 off, and I think after tons of people do that I get a certain percentage off my orders as well.

Pinhole Glasses and Other Vision Endeavors

This is odd. The people who make pinhole eyeglasses contacted me to see if I might like to try their product and write about it here. Sure, I'm game.

The idea of this invention is explained on the pinhole glasses website. Essentially it allows light in differently (through, you guessed it, pinholes!) and this in turn causes the image to register differently in your brain. So you "see" differently than when you simply look across the room wearing your regular glasses, or in my case, when you look across the room without your glasses on because you can't wear them to see anything within three feet of you and therefore you end up rarely wearing them at all unless you are driving!

I enjoy questioning the standard approach to, well, just about anything, which explains why I was game to try these glasses. If there is a way to improve my vision apart from standard glasses, I'm all for it.

So here's what I've found. First off, they really do reduce eye strain. And I love the way the frames fit on my face so much that I wish I could use them for my standard, driving glasses. I do find the pinholes a bit distracting, just as new frames tend to be when you first switch colors or sizes. The only real downside I can point to is that they are best used for tasks that involve sitting still, like watching movies. I just don't do enough of that to be able to use them for long stretches. Apart from computer use (where my eyes function rather well au naturale) I can't think of any significant chunk of the day where I am just sitting and looking across the room without needing the use of my peripheral vision.

Speaking of vision issues, my son has been seeing a Developmental Optometrist, Dr. Joseph Sobek, who takes a very different approach to the vision needs of children. My son's treatment has caused him to be able to read with much greater ease, because his issue was how his eyes focus. He now wears focusing glasses, and a series of exercises have helped strengthen how his visual perception as well.